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Jojo's Little KitchenStealing glances,
taking a chance
you won't look my way
as my smile betrays
the fullness that fills me
like a meal you never want to end,
relishing each morsel
tasting each bite
never desiring respite
from the flavour notes
and redolent aroma of love
wafting over us
like steaming hot soup--
our delight on an infinite loop
our tongues tasting
the sweetness basting
and when our bowls are empty
our hearts remain full,
our desires sated
but our passion never abated.
This ChristmasI shall reside in music;
let the carols move me
and make me
want to live through this day
even when I am dying inside
47 DaysIt's been over a month since we've been afloat
on the fires of our togetherness
and the flame continues to sweetly sear us;
fantasies once imagined from a distance
now so near us
they taste real.
I feel the intensity morph into sublimity--
each day a torrid afterglow
of a love made the day before
and to be remade tomorrow,
like cresting waves undulating
from the pulse of a current so strong
it sucks us in the undertow.
Never would I have dared
to care for you as I do now
if you did not take that leap
into the abyss
of a love so scorching
we relent to being burnt.
Like ashes we will seep into the earth,
carbon dating our love
into rich sediment
that will feed our immortality,
for our bond resists the confines of our reality
and the cynics fear us.
this elusive thing
without which life wouldn't sing
but she makes me do things
I am not proud of
she makes me wield a knife
that cuts out
other people's hearts
and feed it to her nemesis
She understands my weaknesses
she nurtures my penchant for
a desire so insatiable
it consumes me
and she spits me out more whole and shaken
than before I was taken
I know not from where she comes
nor who she brings with her
nor why she chooses me
but I never ask
never question because I relent
to the unyielding nature of her beckoning
like a reckoning that will never commence
I am a sucker for her
because I knew her not as a child
and I craved her as an adult
for she fills a hole in me
so wide so big so empty
I am lost without her
When she comes
she knows how to make an entrance
and I crumple when she exits
so I try to hold on to her
as long as I am able
and if I lose my hold
I await her second coming
and I am ever ready to do it all again --
fall in love.
TimelinesThis morning your fingers were busy
withholding a slice of your life from the world;
your fingers shaped a new existence
with quiet persistence
as you whittled away the many bytes into a few.
When you were done with your rebirth
you gently beckoned me to see
how quickly a life's history
can change and be fashioned anew.
No regrets, you said, no remorse
no sorrow and no recourse
but only to march on ahead
to forge fresh memories
and open uncharted pathways instead.
Now we will live with the promise of new histories
expansive and unfolding like exquisite mysteries--
we will remake and create
who we are,
how we live,
what to give
of ourselves to each other,
when to reject reality
and embrace our imaginations
because we are no longer contained
by that which we have let go
for our present will soon be our past
and our future a landscape breathtaking and vast.
EpiphanyUnaware of the stares
your lips take mine in a dance
that gently caresses my tongue--
twirling pink tips tango,
gliding on sensations
that slide in between syllables of sweet endearment.
In that moment of headiness
I shut out the clink of cups and spoons
as your eyelashes blink a typhoon against my cheek;
I hear not the steam shooting froth into latte mugs
but revel in the softness of your kiss,
my breath emptied by your inhalation
as you suck my life into your own.
with the wind in my hair and a spring to my step
with no cares, no airs, no fears, no regrets
with the sun on my back and the sky in my view
with a smile on my face and faith in love renewed
with you in my heart and your voice in my head
I walk silently no words between us need be said
I walk with purpose
I walk with a carefree sense of happiness
I walk when I am happy
I walk when I am sad
A Quiet Marriageliving on the brink of ecstasy
every day a heady dose of bliss
the writing comes in fits
because the heart is bursting
so full of everything
i never could conceive
hence never did believe
i now live my days in withdrawal
from the rote and the mundane
my disdain for things that take me away
from the flickering flames
of our incandescent futures
fuels my quest to heal my sutures
i love how you join me
as we tear down wishful dreams
choosing to freely live
in the reality of our frailties
surging cresting crashing
against cliffs that smoothen
the knife edge of our possibilities
and you reach for me
as we melt into the spaces
of our innermost being
your voice a sweet rendition
of a union serenely cushioned
in our sublimity
SoliloquyI want to write something sunny,
Something bright and full of delight,
But the world keeps spinning faster;
It keeps spinning into the night.
How do I write of butterflies
When all I see are moths?
How do I write of victory
When all I see are sloths?
Looking for the silver lining
Is easier said than done.
They say keep moving forward,
But life weighs a ton.
Doors keep getting closed,
And their keys keep getting lost,
And this just makes me wonder,
What would giving up cost?
My mind tells me it’s not worth it,
My heart declares that isn’t so,
And my soul just keeps on screaming;
It keeps screaming Go! Go! Go!
I’ve tied a knot around my wrist
To remind me of my goal.
I’ve changed all my radio stations
So they sing the songs of the soul.
How could I live with myself
Upon giving up a dream?
How could I think of backing down
When things aren’t what they seem?
So I’ll just keep on going,
Keep looking towards the sun,
For when all of this is over,
I can rej
Something LostWhen I was younger
With dark black hair
Fresh new skin
Baby teeth still intact
And a flawless porcelain teacup
Ready to be filled
I was free.
The sun would peek into my room
like a bashful child
My eyes were wide awake
Ready for a new day.
Outside was where
My spirit was
Tiny toes and short legs
Tickled by dark green grass
That smelled of summer.
When I was hungry
My small hands
Plucked out the miniature mint leaves
That overtook the garden
So I wouldn’t have to leave my friends for lunch.
And the day went by
Disappearing before my eyes
Orange, red, yellow, a fire I couldn’t stop
Until it dulled to ashes
And darkness encased my world
Like a box slammed shut.
Those flickering sparks
Evading my greedy grasp
My eyes drooped like a willow tree
Tired from continuously pouring tea
Into my cup.
I was free,
But even birds are chained to the sky
And I flew back to my nest
After soaring high
Ready to replenish my kettle.
Now I lay in my bed
PurposedTireless a secret that I was meant to digress.
Hollowed and moving a fortitude I was made to lose.
Rendered by life to give light to a dark world,
As I love her I’m stuck hiding even as I count words exposed.
Still moving no more decaying,
Seeing blood and years mixing the umbilical fears.
I plead to forget the memories only to consciously forgive.
The breaking, the pressure under,
To see a calm likeness to my dreaming preference.
Repay the highest priest with what’s due,
This new life too much to bear as I continually shatter.
Like window panes of open intimacy,
Blended then forged into idolatry lost wax casting.
Knowing I am free yet wondering why I can’t turn my back,
Resolving to look for the key other half.
The world’s betrayal of a time and place in a boy’s confidence.
I stumble, the temperature drops,
I leave the body of what was fiction,
Though I will never lose the memories of a time when I wanted justice but instead accepted victimhood as unreali
from under the dome.breathless dreamer,
sleep is but two arm's lengths away,
evading your grasps throughout the tangle
of uneven arms.
your fingers are the tribute --
a puppet to neuronal impulses
designed to protect you from harm --
that you declare war against
with a shot of vodka.
you are rattling your ivory cage
in self-hate & self-defense
as she ebbs & flows in;
like an intoxicated wave
flirting with the shoreline
on a miserable day,
you are drowning in your veins --
the weight of the world
resting solely on your head, your heart
racing against your mind(-
the path is well tread, each
synapse well versed in a
language that's left you blind,
as you self-medicate & nurse your own
in a house that's not
you are the tired bluebird
who trembles at her touch;
the colour on your skin is a
mark of the chains holding you down &
you are a bird of her prey.
actions & thoughts are known & repeated;
she is your worst enemy & your best friend --
she cages you in
but a cage is no
FailureI hide behind
A mask of
“She’s so smart”
No, I’m not
I’m a failure, an experiment
I can’t finish what I started
I can’t start what needs
To be finished
Letting everything pile
Higher and higher until
I’m drowning in it
Drowning in the expectations
The unfinished work
The life I’ve chosen
That’s what I’m
Drowning in my own sorrows.
Just in what
Others expect me
Because I can never
Be as perfect as
They want me to be
What We Won't AdmitPeople ask what happened to us
Yet I do
It was something and it's everything
That poor thing ruined us
Took away our sweet start
The together forever
One never without the other
Perfect understanding to never be judged
Always on the same side
But then you left me
Weren't on my side
Or by my side
You Left without real words
Just a dozen hate texts
Emails to break my security
It hurt me
I was destroyed inside
You were my murdered
Though I held onto you for a long time
I didn't want to admit something was wrong
So I let it get to me
Pain then hurt then pain and more hurt
Until I had enough
I became sick of you
And everything you did
I ignored you on purpose
Acted like you didn't matter to me
But you were the most important thing
I just had to let go of it
I found better people
Made new memories to forget about us
And I did forget and it was fine
I thought the that you'd be gone for good
But I know you better than that
The second you realized it was over
You dragged me down
WinterI raise my head, and part my lips
To catch a falling flake
They slowly drop like sinking ships
No destiny or fate
I watch the drifts on slanted roofs
Their journey now anew
They patter down like planted hoofs
And hit the ground, renewed
Collecting in the sewer drains
As water on the melt
To fall another day as rain
Their presence always felt
Accumulate on city streets
Then plowed like piled trash
And crunching under booted feet
Upon their daily tasks
They claim that every flake that falls
Is said to be unique
Like people, same, and different all
As cold as frozen sleet
This winter weather signifies
A change that's felt like hale
And yet it lights a child's eyes
To see the swirling gales
© Jarrett Douglass DeLude
Commitment to a SadnessEveryone in some way wants to fit in.
Be normal , be accepted as
The general public,
But something more
Someone to trust, a hand to hold.
Like a mother and her child
A girl and her lover
Two friends idly chatting
"All good things must come to an end"
As the saying goes.
Moving away to college,
A loss of interest in each others company,
And a fight that they soon won't forget.
As the friends won't. You never really forget
A comittment you have made gone awry,
left to pick up the pieces.
Without someone to help you patch them back together.
But that's what life is.
A Bloody, Stupid Miracle The day we’d cured the human condition was the day I put a bullet through my head and didn’t die. It was also the day I realized how scared I actually was of death, and after hours of muscle ache from holding that gauze against my open skull, after the wound closed and everything went back to normal, I had myself a good old-fashioned brainstorm. How ironic.
But when summer came, everything had fallen to shit. The air scorched my skin and parched my tongue every time I took a breath. The sun glared down on a rapidly-collapsing world, full of the undying bastard children of cruelty and misfortune. What was one to do when their cells regenerated faster than they decomposed?
My feet hit the pavement, now littered with jagged bits of glass to snap at my toes, thoroughly baked by the blazing ball of bitter disdain high overhead. Today was worse than yesterday. Though I’d often wondered the purpose of it anymore, I
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